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A Dear John Letter to Dairy…

By Hannah Tice

Dear Dairy,

I’m sorry but we have to call it quits. I put so much time and energy in our relationship and for what? Those evening strolls through Brooklyn — you sitting in a cone and me sitting on a bench. We kissed my lips. I though it was true love. But later that night we faught for hours.

They say you always want what you can’t have. That’s true. I wanted you back. I wanted you all over my tacos and in my cappuccinos. You’re so attractive in a bowl of cereal.

But this is it this time. I’m for real. It’s no longer healthy to pretend that we are good for each other. There will be others who will enjoy your laughter in their bellies. But not me. Not anymore.

I’ve found someone else who enjoys my company. We don’t fight. Actually, we get along perfectly well. He might not get around like you do but I’m okay with that. I found something that works for me and I’m finally happy.

So this is goodbye. If you see me on the streets, please don’t wave. We both know we need to go our separate ways.

Sincerely,

Han

By the way, this is what my new boo looks like. Don’t get jeal.

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 Hannah Tice-Autoimmune Ally 

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